Smoke & Mirrors

Smoke & Mirrors, located in a back street behind the Bristol Hippodrome, is quite an odd pub. It is described as being 'the UK's only boutique pub and magic theatre'. Having never been to such an establishment we made our decision to go there quicker than you can say Abracadabra !!

Shelley was delighted to find that one of her favourite ciders Scrumpy Jack was available on draught, something that is practically unheard of, whilst I was more than happy with my pint of Caledonian Golden XPA. We both thought 'not a lot' of one of the cocktails that was available, a Debbie McGee !!

The pub was quiet due to the fact that there was a magic act on in the pub's theatre called Wizards of Odd who describe themselves as 'a slightly temerarious double act.' I must confess I had to look that word up in a dictionary, it means reckless or rash. I just hope they weren't too temerarious when they sawed the lady in half !!

The jury is still out on this pub for me, the fact that there was a show taking place probably didn't help as normally staff do close up magic tricks for customers which sounds like fun.

Seeing as it was nearly 9pm and we'd started drinking with a cider tray at 2.30pm meant that food was now long overdue.

Drinking for six and a half hours?......That's magic !!

The Orchard

Appearances can be deceptive, The Orchard (in the shadows of Brunel's SS Great Britain) looks like a council estate pub, the sort of pub that would not look out of place in tv show Shameless, but we were recommended to pop in by some locals that we had met earlier in The Shakespeare Tavern so we plucked up courage and walked in.

I have found out subsequently that the pub is listed in The Good Beer Guide and it is easy to understand why, it is a haven for real ale/cider drinkers. It is reputed to stock up to twenty three ciders at any one time. Shelley was in cider heaven though the fact that neither of us had heard of any of them meant that deciding on which one to have was a bit of a lottery. She opted for a half of Chedder Valley and judging by her expression she wasn't really sure what to make of her choice..

I was lucky enough to spot something that I had heard of, local beer Gem Bitter, and was pleased with my decision..

We were delighted when we were joined by three of the group of five that we'd met earlier in The Shakespeare Tavern, they'd lost two of their group, the wife had got her own way and they'd gone for food !!

They joined us and we spent a very enjoyable hour or so in their company. They were cider experts and explained to us what is meant by local cider terms rough and natch, and told us tales of Bristolian characters including Two Gallon Alan who acquires his name due to the fact that he regularly drinks sixteen pints of 'rough' on his two hour lunch break !!

We were asked to move seats due to the fact that a band was setting up for a birthday party but we were told that we were most welcome to stop for the party, when we told the landlord that we were leaving he invited us back the next day for another social event at the pub !!

I heartily recommend this brilliant pub.

The Shakespeare Tavern

Forsooth, I tell thee that William Shakespeare seems to be a recurring theme on this blog, this is the third pub with reference to The Bard, though as some experts believe that he spoke in an early Brummie accent I feel that he is one of my own !!

A Shakespearian quotation above the bar in Bristol's Shakespeare Tavern said 'Come gentlemen I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.' So I drank down all unkindness with a pint of Tribute Pale Ale while Shelley joined me with a pint of Th*tchers.

I'd been to this pub a couple of times before with my mate Chris ahead of Stiff Little Fingers' gigs at the nearby O2 Academy so I knew that this pub was a good one. It's a proper drinker's pub with no gimmicks just as I like it.

The pub is a friendly one and we got chatting to a table of locals who were sat by us. The group consisted of four blokes and a woman, and we soon discovered that the woman was the wife of one of the blokes. He made me laugh when he said 'What is it about women? When you are just getting into a good drinking session they want to go and get something to eat'. His wife pointed out that by that stage they had been out for four hours !!

They recommended a couple of pubs to us though I must admit I did struggle to understand the local dialect, one pub was called The Arrrrcharrrrd, well at least that's what I thought he said. We eventually found out, after saying pardon a couple of times, that he was recommending The Orchard.

We drank up and followed his advice..

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Grain Barge

The Grain Barge is one of the most unusual pubs that we have been to this year. It is an historic converted barge that is packed with character. We very nearly went past it but lack of loos in the Bristol Harbourside area made calling in something of a necessity for us both !!

The pub is owned by the Bristol Beer Factory who brew several lovely cask ales, my pint of Sunrise was a good one, a bit citrusy if I'm being critical, but it would be churlish to criticise anything about  Grain Barge.

Shelley also had plenty of choice on the cider front with her finally settling on a pint of Ashton Press.

This salty sea dog had the need for a salty snack so the able seaman behind the bar served me to crisps and peanuts as an accompaniment to our alcoholic beverages.

I must admit my voyage to the loo below deck was a bit of an experience, the boat was docked at a bit of an angle so it lead to me feeling a bit unsteady on my sea legs with the consumption of a few beers only adding to the sensation. I feared that there may be a cry of man overboard If I wasn't careful !!

Another good reason for calling in for a pint at the Grain Barge is that it is literally a plank walk away from the magnificent SS Great Britain, Brunel's wrought iron steamship dating back to 1843 which is Bristol's number one tourist attraction. A pint and a bit of culture, a winning combination.

As well as doing great beer, Grain Barge has live music every Friday night. Errol's Kitchen were due to play shortly after our visit. The band don't sound at all pretentious describing themselves as 'Live lounge funk jazz with teeth' !! I'm more a Judas Priest man myself !!

The recurring theme with pretty much all the pubs that we visited in Bristol was the fact that had we not got our exploring heads on we could have easily spent all night in each of them, this was very much the case in Grain Barge.

I cried land ahoy after we finished our solitary pint as shiver me timbers it was time to get back onto dry land though not without a couple of snaps outside the vessel...

 

 

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Pitcher and Piano

Where possible, when we visit a new place, we try to avoid chain pubs, however The Pitcher and Piano, with a free table in the July sunshine on Bristol's Harbourside, was too good to turn down.

The good thing about the Pitcher and Piano chain is that you can always get an ale and this was the case during our visit though Marston's Pedigree was maybe a bit of a predictable choice for me..

..Shelley was more adventurous choosing a pint of Symonds cider.

There was a genuine buzz about the place as we took our seats outside helped by the fact that, although it isn't that type of place, there were quite a few stag and hen parties out and about. Our favourites being, a group dressed up as old men (one even went as far as hobbling around the harbour on a zimmer frame which I'm sure would have been ditched in the water at some point in proceedings), a group of Welsh lads in bright pink tee shirts that even Wales rugby legend Gareth Thomas would have found too feminine to wear, and pick of the bunch was a large group of Spanish flamenco dancers accompanied by a Spanish senorita who was presumably the stag.

It was one of the pubs where we could have happily stayed all day and watch the world go by, observing just how drunk the pre wedding parties got, but we'd got further Bristol pubs to explore....

The Stable

Being the kind, considerate boyfriend that I undoubtedly am I decided to take Shelley to Bristol (aka Brizzle) for a slightly belated birthday celebration. We checked into The Marriott (yes I know, no Travelodge style accommodation on this occasion) and made our way into Bristol city centre.

The place was buzzing, due in no small part to the fact that it was Gay Pride, so vests, short cropped hair and moustaches were in abundance and that was just the women !!

We had been recommended to have a drink in the Habourside area and Shelley immediately spotted a great starting place, The Stable. What an inspired choice it was, the sign outside pronounced The Stable - Pies, Pizza and Cider, and whilst I didn't necessarily agree with their order of merit all three are firm favourites of mine.

The venue itself is huge, it's a former warehouse that has been stripped back literally to the brick walls, terracotta floor and metal supports with the kitchen forming an integral part of the pub.

Eagle eyed Shelley noticed that the place did cider trays i.e. five half pints of different ciders on a wooden tray. So when in Bristol do as the Bristolians...

Now as you are probably aware by now I am very meticulous when it comes to compiling details for this blog but there was no way that I was going to be able to remember all five accurately so I used my initiative and took a photo of the board..

Naturally we rated them and our choices were very similar Shelley went (in ascending order) 5 2 1 3 4 whereas I went 5 2 3 1 4. What was interesting was the fact that our favourite was the strongest weighing in at a scary 7.5% ABV. Not exactly what you describe as a session drink which was a bit of a concern seeing as it was only 2.30pm !!

The pub was great, it was a brilliant choice by the birthday girl.

The Amington

This was one pub visit that I feared I'd never make. The pub, in its previous incarnation as The Amington Inn/Joba's curry house, closed a few months ago due to numerous licence breaches leaving the pub with a very uncertain future. Fortunately it has been taken over by the Flaming Grill chain and it is now a pub/restaurant.

To be fair it was probably the best thing that realistically could have happened to the place as, while the curry house was great and extensively used by us both, the bar at times resembled a wild west saloon.

We had been watching the pub's transformation over a few weeks (with an application of bright orange paint to areas on the outside of the pub being one of the more startling items of note) and eagle eyed Shelley noticed that it looked like it might be open. We gave it a try on our way into Tamworth for a curry..

Technically the pub wasn't open, it was a 'preview night' for friends and family of the pub's employees, and we didn't fall into either camp, however we were told that as long as we didn't want food we were okay to stop for a drink.

The pub had changed quite a bit though in many ways the changes were improvements. It is now open plan rather than being a lounge and two bars. The emphasis is very much on food and it is very family friendly which is obviously not a good thing but it is actually not too bad.

First things first, they serve two real ales with me opting for a pint of Marston's Pedigree which whilst not being the greatest pint I've ever had was certainly passable. The décor is also okay with the walls adorned with photographs in and around the local area.

Many of the pub's original features have remained including the carpet in the main area, I am hoping it got fully cleaned as I've lost count of how much times I must have spilt mango chutney on it when it used to be a curry house.

It will be interesting to see how much of an actual pub this will become as family diners are obviously their target market, however the fact that Sky Sports has been installed and there are both Quiz Nights and Darts Nights mean that the humble pub goer has not been forgotten.

On reflection it's probably a six and a half out of ten pub if I had to give it a mark. At least the pub isn't lost which nowadays is something of a blessing. The location of The Amington means it is a handy stop off point on a walk into Tamworth town centre, but, are we likely to use it much? Probably not as I'd rather have a flamin' curry house than a Flaming Grill !!

The Red Lion

Good Beer Guide listed pub The Red Lion is one of my favourite pubs in Birmingham. It's a proper pub with proper people. The pub is a grade II listed building and dates back 111 years, its' frontage on Vicarage Road is almost as impressive as that of Kelly Brook !!

For stone fans I can tell you that the stone used on The Red Lion is of Cotswold limestone vernacular style. Whoever said this blog was just about beer?!

The night Shelley and I visited it was a Friday night when Warwickshire were in T20 action at Edgbaston, this always means one inevitable thing....it was raining so rather than walk we arrived in some style in an Ambassador Cars Datsun from Shelley's Mum and Dad's house nearby.

I was a lot less nervous entering the pub than I was one Sunday afternoon around five and a half years ago as this was where I met The Fockers, aka Shelley's Mum and Dad Jan and Mick.

There is seriously nothing to dislike about this pub. It's a great venue for real ale enthusiasts with a sign by the bar stating 'Cask Ale, TBYB'. I must admit it took me ages to work that one out......Try Before You Buy !! I wish people that think it's clever to use acronyms would just BOGOF !!

I opted for a pint of Purity UBU without feeling the need to try it first with Shelley going for a pint of Th*tcher's Gold.

The pub was showing the Germany v France World Cup quarter final but to be honest it didn't really interest me given the fact that both nations aren't particularly popular with us English. It's the international equivalent of v*lla against v*lla reserves !!

We spotted Shelley's Mum and Dad's neighbours Tina and Karl having a cigarette outside and joined them for a couple of pints. I stuck to my Purity UBU though this clearly wasn't the option for the mad hatters on table 17 who had partaken in a tea party.

Some nights it is ages before you feel the need to 'break the seal' and this was the case for me during our trip to The Red Lion where I didn't go until it was almost time to leave. The sign on the door indicated that they were expecting me..

A review that I read for this pub in the Birmingham Mail stated 'If you had a friend visiting from another city then this famous Brum boozer would be a place you'd ideally want to impress them with.'

I couldn't agree more.

UPDATE 6th July

A warm summer's day meant that a Sunday afternoon pint was on the agenda and what could be a better venue than The Red Lion? Okay it doesn't have a beer garden as such and the view looking out of the pub onto the traffic lights on Vicarage Road one way and an unsightly block of flats the other way isn't exactly what you'd call picturesque but it is a great destination for some alfresco drinking.

I was conscious of it being a school night so steered clear of the Purity UBU that I had enjoyed a few days earlier due to its 4.5% strength and went for a Brummie favourite (now brewed in Wales) Brew XI at a much more work friendly 3.6%.

I noticed at the bar that, despite the fact that the date was July 6th, they were already advertising Christmas offers at The Red Lion encouraging Festive punters to 'Settle in with us at Christmas'. £39.95 will get you Christmas lunch with all the trimmings though to be honest I was more in the mood for a bar b q as we settled outside in the sunshine.

The outside area was quite full and in good voice with one table treating us to a rousing version of Frankie Laine's I Believe. Unfortunately their singing had an adverse impact on the weather with a sudden downpour forcing us inside.

We stopped for a couple more and caught the end of the men's singles final at Wimbledon where Shelley's Mum's favourite Roger Federer lost in a five set thriller to Novak Jokovic.

As good as the beer is at The Red Lion I couldn't help noticing on our way out that they water down some of the drinks...

UPDATE 3rd August

It was a school night which means that beer always slips down a treat because psychologically I think your body must know that it's wrong and that's what makes it right !!

There is always a good selection of ales at the Red Lion so a pint of Wadsworth 6X and a seat outside was the order of the day..

When I popped indoors to get my second pint I noticed that the closing ceremony of the Commonwealth Games had just started and was being shown on the pub's large tv. I could not get out quickly enough, I was scared that John Barrowman would start singing again !!

The seal soon went and I couldn't help but chuckle at a sign on the pub's toilet door, a convenience apologising for inconvenience !!...

The difference between the sexes was demonstrated by an incident that we witnessed outside the pub. One rather large gentleman was somewhat intoxicated and needed help from his mates to get into a taxi. His size and drunken state meant that he turned very, very awkwardly on his ankle, infact we both thought that he may have even broken it. Now, at this point, women would, quite rightly, show compassion. So, what did the blokes do? Bundle him into the cab with the following farewell message 'See ya tomorrow ya gobsh*te' !!

UPDATE 24th December

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring not even a mouse.....that was because we'd all cleared off to The Red Lion for a Christmas Eve drink !!

I will admit in normal circumstances it was a probably a night I'd have stopped in, I'd caught the cold that had blighted most of the country (not man flu before you females start trotting out your standard line) and wasn't really feeling up to it but manfully I fought through the pain barrier (yes I know, wasn't I brave?!!) and made my way to the pub with Shelley, her Mum Jan, brother Craig and sister in law Maria.

The pub unsurprisingly was full so it was standing room only except for Jan who had managed to bag what was probably the last seat in the place..

Although there was nothing wrong with my pints of Purity UBU they didn't really taste of much, I knew at that point I was seriously ill, my illness was affecting my drinking !!

I think it must have also had an impact on my hearing, Maria asked me if a disco had started and I said that I couldn't hear anything. Not only had a disco started, the first song the DJ played was AC/DC !! I was not a well man !!

We had positioned ourselves in an alcove towards the back of the pub...

...which meant that we were away from most of the Christmas revellers, that was until a big gang of lads 'took our end' to use 1970's football hooligan terminology. There must have been about twenty young blokes on a jolly boys Christmas Eve celebration who muscled in on our alcove. One young whippersnapper even had the cheek to ask Shelley to take a photo of the lads, undoubtedly it is now on Facebook, Instagram or whatever it is that young folks do these days !!

They managed to do something quite impressive mind you, their drunken rendition of Fairytale of new York was actually more out of tune than Shane McGowan's singing on the original !!

There wasn't much festive fun for the women, they were forced to use the upstairs lavatory as the downstairs toilet was flooded. Is a Yuletide log comment compulsory at this point?!!

On the subject of the loo (as I normally am !!) the most bizarre moment of the night was when a Jocky Wilson look a like approached me and said 'Where's the loo? I've walked all the way from Bristol for a p*ss' !!.... I'm not sure if every service station on the M5 was closed but that truly was a herculean effort to spend a penny !!

Shelley had cooked us a curry (chicken not turkey) and it was waiting for us back at Jan's so I called us a cab relatively early and we made our way back noting that we would be back in the same venue in just over twelve hours time...illness permitting !!

UPDATE 25th December

I know that Andy Williams thinks that it's 'the most wonderful time of the year' but I will admit I didn't agree with him one little bit when I woke on Christmas morning. I felt dreadful. The prospect of a midday drink in The Red Lion carried about as much festive appeal as one of Sir Cliff's songs. Drastic action was needed and it came in the form of some food (boiled egg and toast, thanks Shelley though you could have cut the toast into soldiers for me !!), a shower, and the unexpected treat of Shelley's Mum Jan rubbing Vic into my chest !! I was about as ready as I was ever going to be.

The Yuletide crew of the previous evening, myself, Shelley, Jan, Craig and Maria were joined by Shelley's other brother Mark, sister in law Tracey and Shelley's nephew Ryan so there was almost as many of us as there were reindeers on Santa's sleigh a few hours before. I'm sure who would be which reindeer but I'm more a dancer than a prancer !!

Earlier that day I had watched, with some interest, the Royal Family arrive for church. Her Maj got there first by car and the rest of the royal party followed her on foot lead by the Duke of Edinburgh. Our journey to The Red Lion was quite similar, the girls went by car, whilst the lads had a stroll to the pub with Craig playing the role of Phil the Greek without the obligatory inappropriate remarks about foreigners !!

Jan was playing a blinder, not only had she acted as my personal nursemaid earlier, she also got the first round in so there was a pint of Purity UBU waiting for me as I arrived. Unfortunately I then spent the next three hours nursing beer. I will shamefully admit that three of my drinks were halves. It wasn't really happening for me, of all of the days of the year to be ill !!

We all raised our glasses to Shelley's Dad Mick, someone who we really miss and definitely a bloke who used to love a Christmas Day lunchtime pint...or two !!

We stopped until last orders, had a quick photo stop on our way back to Jan's..

..and went back for Christmas dinner. Well, to be honest I made a pathetic attempt at my meal, which was probably about the same size as Victoria Beckham's, and went to bed at the ludicrously early hour of 6.30, and no it wasn't a washing up avoidance technique or a ploy to miss the Call the Midwife Christmas special !!

The Plough and Harrow

We'd probably use The Plough and Harrow in Fazeley more if it was a bit nearer. It's either a brisk 45 minute walk along the canal towpath or around £8 in a cab. We opted for option one when we popped in for a Sunday afternoon pint.

Whilst walking through Fazeley we were greeted by the sad sight of the landlord and landlady of the Fazeley Victory pub taking down their England World Cup bunting due to our disappointing but not exactly surprising early exit.

The pub is a good one, be warned there are some beams that are very low as you walk in so be sure to adopt a Quasimodo style stance.

The pub is split into two, the main bar at the front and an upmarket tapas restaurant called Passion at the back, I heartily recommend both.

We were given a very warm welcome by the friendly barmaid, there were a couple of ales on offer with me opting for a pint of Wells Bombardier.

Shelley had a new experience, a draught pint of Carling cider, okay but a bit sweet was her verdict.

There was some video jukebox action going on with Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day being the pick of the tunes. The video jukebox became just a standard jukebox at times which lead to the bizarre sight of the pub's tv showing Columbo to the soundtrack of one of the most depressing songs that surely Bob Dylan has ever written.

The UK's best family theme park (their words not mine) Drayton Manor is a stone's throw away from the pub so any thrill seekers who want to experience Stormforce 10, Maelstrom, Shockwave and Apocalypse on consecutive days can take advantage of the accommodation on offer at The Plough and Harrow as for the pricely sum of £44.95 you can get a room for the night.

We ordered a sandwich which I reckon expanded in our stomachs as never before has a steak and onion baguette with chips been so filling, so much so that our planned Sunday dinner later was cancelled until the next day.

We waddled with our full tummies back down the canal tow path to home.

Yates's

We were actually on the way from previous pub The Bolebridge to The Sir Robert Peel during a Saturday afternoon session when we jointly suggested a drink in Yates's, Shelley had noticed that the place had undergone a bit of a much needed face lift, whilst I spotted a Cask Marque sign outside the pub, a guarantee that the real ale that the pub serves is of the highest quality. Result !!

It was only my third ever visit to Yates's in Tamworth, visit one was an early date with Shelley after I'd been down the Blues and the only other visit was to watch a v*lla v Blues televised derby match when Staffordshire constabulary had designated Yates's as a Blues pub.

The pub's not great, your standard Yates's offering that you will find in many 'entertainment' areas of towns and cities throughout the UK. I couldn't fault the beer, my Greene King IPA was a lovely pint and whilst the make over of the pub was long overdue I can only assume that Laurence Llewellyn Bowen chose the velour wallpaper. What were you thinking dah-ling?!!

The Brazil v Chile match was showing on the pubs many tv screens however the place was still decked out in England flags. I couldn't help thinking of what might have been..

The pony tailed barman wasn't paying attention as he passed me and gave me an elbow to the ribs that former footballing hard man John Fashanu would have been proud of. He was full of apologies but it wasn't the dig to the ribs that upset me, it was more the fact that later on he proudly boasted to the pub's manageress that they'd taken more that day in coffee sales than they had in beer sales !! What's happened to the British pub goer?!!

The pints (and wine) were going down at an impressive rate and we stopped to see the home nation go through on penalties before deciding that seeing as we'd started drinking at 1pm and it was now nearly 8pm it was probably a good time to go home especially as a loud group of hens out on a hen night had just arrived. I bet they weren't drinking coffee !!