Dolphin Inn

It was the day that had been christened Black Eye Friday by the media as it is traditionally the day when a lot of people break up from work to start their Christmas holidays, and the early finish and the annual appearance of part time drinkers means that the emergency services are kept particularly busy.

As I walked down Broad St after work I noticed that one of the windows in The Figure of Eight had been smashed, the festive tune 'It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas' began going through my head.

Shelley was out on her Christmas do so neighbour Alan and myself had decided to have a Christmas do of our own. We decided to stick to Tamworth and Alan had suggested that we start in The Anchor in Glascote though his review of the place didn't exactly sell his suggestion to me 'It's a bit of a dive but it sells beer' !!

There were two very early major problems about our visit to The Anchor, firstly I had no money, thankfully my mate Coops lent me some 'beer tokens', and secondly there was no pub !! The Anchor tragically has gone the way of so many other British pubs, it has been closed and it is going to be turned into a supermarket. I quickly texted plan B (nearby pub The Dolphin Inn) to Alan who was on route.

The Dolphin is a pub that I'd only been to twice before and both occasions had a fighting theme, the first time was when Alan and I called after watching some very amateur boxing at nearby Glascote Social Club. The second time was when Shelley and I stopped off during a Saturday afternoon session and a couple, who had previously been drinking together quite amicably, decided to have a fight when they left the pub which resulted them both being hauled off in a police car !!

The pub is a bit basic but definitely a proper drinking pub where the only food available is a selection of salty snacks from behind the bar. One disappointment was the selection of beers, there were no real ales, what a great pity particularly as I had to resort to Carling.

Although it was nicely busy there was no indication that it was supposedly the craziest day of the year for drinkers, presumably the predicted mayhem was reserved for the centres of towns and cities.

This was never meant to be a place where we stayed much longer than a couple of drinks but we got settled and ended up stopping for four pints. One of the reasons that we got so comfortable was the quality of the music that was being played. Now I'm a heavy rock man but I appreciate many other genres of music including Northern Soul, and whoever was putting the songs on the pub's jukebox was obviously a Northern Soul fan as that was all we heard for the first hour.

I was almost tempted to sprinkle talcum powder on the floor and move from side to side to dance to Northern Soul classic The Snake by Al Wilson. Who needs Christmas cheese about spacemen that come travelling or cavalry that need stopping when Al's singing about a snake being wrapped up in a curvature of silk?!

I didn't cover myself in glory when I made a much needed trip to the loo, (is a snake comment appropriate at this point?!!) not only did I go completely the wrong way (I could have turned back but I would have had to do the walk of shame past Alan) I also had major difficulties with a door, it didn't matter whether I pushed or pulled it the thing wouldn't open......it was a door that needed sliding to open !!

We decided a pub move was in order so we slithered down to The Winning Post...

The Boldmere Tap

Long before I started stepping out with my significant other I used to share a flat with my mate Neil in Boldmere. Lack of clothes washing facilities meant Scrubs launderette was the venue for us to wash our designer gear, and we used to make a night out of it. It used to go something like this, leave flat with washing and go to the launderette, empty clothes into a machine and start wash cycle, go to pub, go back to launderette move clothes from machine to drier and start the drying cycle, go back to pub, go back to launderette empty clothes from drier into bag, go to the Chinese take away and order food, go back to pub, pick up Chinese and go home. Who says domestic chores can't be fun?!!

The pub in question was The Boldmere Oak and it had become a bit unloved since I moved to Tamworth resulting in several changes of ownership and periods when the pub has been closed so I was delighted when I heard that it had been taken over by the Market Drayton based brewery Joules and turned into a pub with an emphasis on real ale.

It was very reassuring when I turned up on the opening night of the pub (now called The Boldmere Tap) that the three destinations of my old school wash night still remained....

The launderette...

The pub...

...and The Chinese take away...

The brewery had made a good job of the refurbishment, structurally it hadn't altered that much but it's amazing what a false wall, a lick of paint and brand new loos can do.

The promotional material for the opening night of the pub encouraged customers to bring a bottle which could be exchanged for a pint, unfortunately my bottle of Trooper (the Iron Maiden beer) wasn't what they were looking for, they wanted old fashioned bottles which they would use to compliment the Old Curiosity Shop feel to the place. I think the landlady took pity of me when she saw my pleading eyes and said to the barman 'Oh, just give him a pint' !!

One look round the place confirmed that there were still a few regulars from The Boldmere Oak days, the owner of the launderette, and an eccentric old bloke who used to pour over reams of green and white computer print outs. We were always convinced (given that those things haven't been used in an office for around fifteen years) that it was a ploy to escape a nagging wife, 'I'm just catching up with my paperwork love' !!

I was joined by mate Kap, my mate and work colleague Paul, and former flatmate Neil and we were all in agreement that we liked the place and the beer. Beer Philistines Neil and Kap disappointingly were on Carling, whereas myself and Paul were happy to knock back a few pints of Joules Pale Ale, a very pleasant little number.

Our numbers were swelled when some of Shelley's chums turned up, Michelle x2 (I know, what is it with that name?!!), fellow Sabbath fan Tony (who was sporting a splendid twirly moustache) and his boss Vaughan. They were drinking a very dark looking ale that scared me !!

Given the fact that it was a school night, we halted proceedings at a fairly work friendly hour but all vowed to return. Kap and Neil left just before me..

....whilst I required full powers of concentration on my departure to ensure that my automatic pilot instincts would not divert me initially to the launderette and then to the Chinese !!

The Roost

Yuletide over indulgence the night before meant that I was surprised not to hear eleven drummers drumming when I woke up on the day of my planned inaugural visit to The Roost particularly as it had been a fairly toxic mix of real ale, lager and shots of Tia Maria mixed with Baileys (aka Baby Guinness) the night before. I knew drinking with Shelley and her mates was a bad idea !!

After a much needed breakfast I made my way to meet my mate Dave, who was up from Weston for the day, for a pre match pint.

After getting off the train at Birmingham New St and making my way up Digbeth High St I soon realised that my initial smugness at my lack of a hangover had been misplaced. I suddenly felt rather unwell. The last thing that I needed was a pint. I was hoping the feeling would pass before I got to the pub.....it didn't !!

I walked into a very noisy, full pub....what a nightmare !! I need to quickly get myself a drink and move outside in the fresh air.

Whilst the décor in The Roost (formerly The Marquis of Lorne) is top quality (pictures of Francis, Horsfield, Dugarry etc) the beer selection leaves a lot to be desired, no sign of an ale so I had to resort to a pint of Guinness ( a daddy not a baby !!) as my fall back position.

Although it was mid December I still had no option other than to go for an alfresco drink. I'm sure that my mate Dave was suitably perplexed with my 'I'm in the beer garden' text !!

In some ways though my move outside was probably for the best, the Christmas tunes were being played in the pub and I went outside just as Sir Cliff's Christmas turkey Saviour's Day was starting. Although he is a religious man I was fairly sure that my mate Dave wouldn't object !!

I used to go to Blues home and away games with Dave as well as bumping into him when he used to literally stagger round Snobs night club. A good woman, the church (NB That's not the name of a pub !!) and two kids have calmed him down a bit but he still enjoys a pint and The Blues so it was great to catch up with him even if he was probably cursing me for making him stand outside in the cold, especially as there were some irritating youngsters playing tig in the beer garden..

Amazingly the legendary brew's former advertising slogan proved to be prophetic, Guinness really is good for you as my pint of the black stuff demonstrated miraculous healing properties, so much so that I went to get a second pint !!

We were joined by my friend Lindsey and her mates Di and Andy. Di is a Blues fan, Lindsey is a Liverpool fan with a soft spot for Blues however Di's fella Andy has a claret and blue persuasion. Maybe he was being a creep to get a better Christmas present. I decided not to out him !!

Di worried me a bit (and that is not because she is going out with a v*lla fan) she told me that she is going off drinking !! I told her to have a firm word with herself !! You can't be a teetotal Blues Fan !!

I was quite impressed with my first visit to The Roost though I'm told the post match disco is as woeful as some of the Blues performances that normally proceed it !!

The Windsor

I may have mentioned this before (okay I have definitely said this on many occasions !!) but I am not a big fan of drinking in pubs in the run up to Christmas, and my night in the Pure Bar and Kitchen illustrated why the experience is so ho-ho-horrid.

Not only did I have to queue to get into the pub, I then had to negotiate my way through the Christmas crowd control system at Birmingham's New St station only to find that my train had been delayed by fifty (yes five zero) minutes !! I half wished that Chris Rea was driving me home !!

I had little alternative than to go for another pint however finding a pub that I could get anywhere near was an issue. The Sun on the Hill...full, The Briar Rose...full, Colmore's Bar...full, I then had a brainwave....The Windsor !!

Now The Windsor is a pub that I used to frequent over twenty five years ago during my time at H Samuel's. It is situated on the road (Canon St) that runs at the back of the shop. The jewellers is long since gone but the metal shutters remain...

I looked back with some fondness (?!!) as I passed them remembering that I regularly used to have to clear up piles of vomit from the bottom of them before I opened up. Revellers from nearby pubs Le Pub and Cagneys used to empty their stomachs of Tenants Extra and Pernod and black as they passed the back of the shop !!

The pub has changed considerably since those days, it's a bit cheap and not very cheerful but definitely a step up from The Windsor of the 1980's when it used to be frequented by old men and Irish construction workers.

Surprisingly it stocks a decent array of different ales with Timothy Taylor Landlord being my drink of choice..

Like pretty much all city centre pubs during the festive/Frankfurt Christmas market season the pub was very full and there were some real seasonal sights, made worse by the fact that it was Christmas jumper day so the pub was made more colourful by knitwear depicting Christmas puds, snowmen reindeers etc !!

Shelley was out with the girls in Tamworth town centre and I received a call inviting me to join them. The fact that I had now consumed half a dozen pints meant that it probably wasn't such a good idea however I didn't want to be lonely this Christmas so I drank up and caught my heavily delayed train.

The King's Ditch

Wow !! What a fantastic surprise, I know it was the festive season but this was an unexpected early Christmas present, Tamworth has got itself a brand new micropub !!

I had heard a rumour that an empty shop had been purchased opposite The Globe with a view to it being opened as a micropub but I hadn't realised it had actually happened. The King's Ditch opened on November 27th. Why didn't they let me know?!!

Now, don't be expecting fancy décor and all the trimmings, just like The Whippet Inn in Lichfield this place is small and basic...

...but I love it !!

When I called in there were four ales on offer, none of which I'd ever had before, I went for a pint of Flipside Frank n Stein and there was nothing at all scary about it, it was a lovely pint. Cider drinkers are most certainly catered for here but don't expect to see draught Strongbow, there were eight 'real' ciders to choose from three of which had ABV's of over 7% including Badger Spit at 7.5%, good job Brian May ensured that they weren't all culled !!

If there are any single ladies reading this blog then The King's Ditch is the place for you, it was a dark, damp Wednesday night in December and the place was wall to wall with blokes !! Okay there were twelve of us and a few of them looked like they might blush if a girl did so much as talk to them but there's someone for everyone !!

I think you probably gather I am extremely excited by the opening of this place, I so hope that it is a success. I think once it gets established it will attract a very loyal customer base with me being one of them !!

Long live The King !!

The Three Tuns

Thankfully the third and final pub of my Lichfield St pub crawl was a good 'un. Okay, The Three Tuns is nothing special and realistically has nothing to make it stand out but that in itself is its' charm, it is a normal pub selling good beer.

I only noticed one ale on sale but it was the beer that most of the pub was drinking, Marston's Pedigree at a very reasonable £2.70 a pint. Now I'm not sure whether it was because I'd just had an awful pint in previous pub The Boot Inn but my pint of Pedy tasted better than ever, mind you I should have had mouth wash after my beer at The Boot, it actually tasted of old boot !!

The pub is still structured in a traditional bar/lounge format, being the sophisticated chap that I am I naturally headed towards the lounge however I'm sure the three blokes sat by me had got their geography wrong, their industrial language was definitely more suited to the bar, I've heard less effin' and jeffin' on an Eminem record. It would have made Gordon Ramsay blush !! The one bloke didn't know whether to catch the ******* 6.15 or the ******* 6.45 bus home. He was really ******* undecided !!

My visit was only a brief one but I vowed to return which is in total contrast to the promise I made to the pub's neighbour, I gave that place the boot !!

The Boot Inn

Pub number two on my cruise down the Lichfield Street strip was The Boot Inn..

Sorry about all the selfies !!

Now I'm a bit of a stickler for detail and, whilst there may be a few punctuation and grammatical errors contained in this blog, there is surely nothing as glaringly obvious as the vegetable misspelling on the board outside the pub...

When I walked inside though I realised that I was maybe being a bit unfair, the owner had quite clearly got learning difficulties, there was a large ast*n v*lla crest at the end of the bar !! Aaaah, bless it's a shame, and cruel to poke fun of those less fortunate.

There was a choice of three real ales, the rarely seen Bass, a beer called Dog's B*llocks and Andams Lighthouse. I went for the latter but I thought that the barman had got my order wrong, it tasted like choice number two, the canine's private parts, well, what I imagine them to taste like anyway !! It was a truly awful pint. I'd rather have eaten a raw onoin !! Sorry, I must stop mocking the afflicted.

This was a dreadful pub visit, a couple at the bar with a child 'entertained' the room with tunes from their mobile phone, well, when I say tunes technically it was only one song, Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus, it didn't inspire me to start twerking !!

They then proceeded to confuse the poor infant by recounting tales of when they used to get cassette tapes chewed up by their Walkmans which they then had to unravel with a pen. She just smiled at them in a patronising way.

I then spotted a man, who I believed to be the landlord, wearing a Santa hat with flashing lights, this was the sign I needed for me to make a bolt for the door though I was nearly cut up by an old man on a mobility scooter who was obviously also in a hurry to leave the place. 'Night night Roadrunner' was the farewell shout from the locals to the gentleman in question !!

Remind me NEVER to return to this pub.